I want to eventually animate my Fursona/Logo of my Black UniGryphon character/Trademark. (Vallour Nikee). ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Copyright Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman
So, I gotta keep it 100% real w/you: I could seriously spend ALL YEAR (referring to 2017) working on this, because it seriously is grabbing me, mentally, and emotionally... But, I'm gonna shove this to the back burner pretty soon. There are 2 reasons for this:
I.) Anatomy:
I want to improve my anatomy and proportions, hence my drawing skills a bit further. I was at first surprised that my ability to draw the wings in foreshortened, dynamic, forced perspective... but, then i realized it was due to the basics of the geometry of it, which i apparently can still "eyeball".
I'm just not happy with my anatomy, nor my proportions which need quite a lot of rigorous practice. I'm VERY self critical, and tend to be a perfectionist. But, I'm glad I at least did the rough concepts. i may actually finish the latest sketch I just did, to a point.
II.) Eyewitness Storyboards:
I kinda just started this on a whim/intense inspired need to do it that was just sort of burting out of me. I'd already made up my mind to at least commit to some rough sketching storyboards for my Eyewitness project/series (written about on my other blog). I was mostly trying to practice drawing foxes to come up with a rough/simple design or at least something workable for the animated short to at least get put into motion.
Why Eyewitness of this? Well, actually the Eyewitness project is actually quite grand for being a simple animated visual short. But, i want to at least commit to creating that FIRST because I'd LITERALLY come into a few circumstances where if I DID actually have the basic storyboards, I actually COULD'VE put a simple PITCH together for REAL ACTUAL FUNDING about 3 times in November, not just from 1 source, but multiple, which if awarded I could've actually gotten multiple funding sources from the 4 digits to 6 digits. I know I mentioned at least "3 times" but each one could've actually been multiple opportunities for funds.
I also had a lack of confidence at first, like oh: this isn't that serious... No! It was... it/they kept also coming up... and when I was starting to become taken seriously, I realized no one understood my vision, then time ran out, plus I had finals, and other obligations. Film making is NOT CHEAP, let alone animation projects.
What I WOULD LIKE to do with this concept project:
I started out with ONE basic concept which I WOULD like to do as an animated logo.
The basics of it include the UniGryphon basically just perching/sitting there, perhaps a few moving head gestures, head held high, giving a feel for the personality of the character, a moving tail animation, perhaps a few flicks of the tail, and then a grand unfurling of the wings, coming forward in a foreshortened animated display of the wings, to showcase my ability to draw in dynamic foreshortening, understanding of motion, timing, and anatomy, and that's it.
But, then, another version also popped into my mind, that persistently WOULD NOT GO AWAY.
IN the other version, I would actually have the primary feathers of the wings articulate even further at a higher level of drawing difficultly. I thought about actually more of a brief musical choreography in which the UniGryphon articulated the wings, with each feather sort of moving around the alicorn (horn), and perhaps a sort of fan dance-like choreo' of the wings, slightly.
This version, of course being very dance inspired (if u'd ever studied dance n were familiar with what I mean) would open up with the UniGryphon much like performers on a stage sort of bowed forward at first, then sitting up.
The first version could easily take me about a year to figure out, and make happen, assuming my drawing skills were more improved. And, the 2nd version could also take me even longer to do provided I'd actually done the first version FIRST.
Also, if I WERE to start it NOW, I think I would actually turn into a kind of bitchy, monster, or jerk ANY TIME anything interrupted me from working on it, because THIS could EASILY CONSUME ME as an artist as a project... but, I have Spring Semester coming up at UMASS, plus a number of other things, and I'm not mentally in a place to start this YET, because it will ruin me. I know how perfectionist I can be, and working on just the concept works REALLY put me in another world.
If, however, circumstances changed, including a number of investments I have, I would still like to pursue working on Eyewitness BEFORE this.
I also need to work on keeping up with going to the Gym right now, keeping my health good, and my workstudy job.
A photo posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
Other Comments:
I've found that in Massachusetts, working on this style of art, people are so indifferent to it.
I actually worked on one of the sketches a bit (twice while waiting for various whatever) at UMASS, and people could care less.
Online, I've gotten a strange mixed reaction. The first 2 rough sketches I did caused a lot of people to freak out, majorly over it, and at 1 point, my Instagram blew up over a 100 followers in an evening.
But, when it became apparent that my Instagram WAS ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE (which was what it was created for) they unsubscribed because I'm an actual REAL PERSON, and they have ZERO interest with me as a person, as a human being, etc. Oh... and, I'm like kinda getting old....
My friggin' Instagram actually DOES have a well written Bio/Into that's brief n short.
First of all: I do MY ART FOR ME. It's MY ART.
I live MY LIFE the way I WANT, or put up with crap when it comes the best I can, if I can... and sometimes it's NOT all roses n rainbows. Yes, I'm 37 and I go to UMASS, and I have FINALS, and I like TECHNOLOGY (other than per-packaged smartphone bits) , and PHOTOGRAPHY.
THAT is my AUTHENTIC ME.
SO, NOT SORRY if my Instagram doesn't fit ur nano-second vision of how YOU think social media ought to be.
So.... I don't want to put it out there as a sure thing, but it's been on my mind CLEARLY, sometimes obsessively... and it was always SOMETHING I'd wanted to do anyway...
But, I keep on thinking of TRYING to do an animated logo of my Fursona. ⬅Kinda like this
Only ACTUALLY animated... but just a "held cell".
My drawing ability isn't as good as i would like it to be... but, I am working on it...
I'm known for doing wings, dynamic poses, and HAIR, as well as fantasy stuff such as GRYPHONS, UNICORNS, and DRAGONS...
I've actually been seeing it in my mind, often since the end of last month and the beginning of this month... I could almost thumbnail it out how I want the simple scene to go... ALMOST...
It's an interesting challenge, and I DO HAVE OPEN TOONZ.
OPEN TOONZ seems to be like a mystery, because ever since it came out this year as open source nobody really knew what to do with it, and even now that almost a whole year has passed trying to find so-called tutorials often end up showing that the artists actually doesn;t know the program that well, either, and it's more of a demo than a tutorial. I've also sat through some people live streaming working on stuff, and they often seemed lost as well....
But, at least there ARE resources out there now, because at the beginning of the year, and even middle of the year it was kinda hopeless, and I often felt flustered.
AT LEAST I actually got OPEN TOONZ to function on my computer.
It's still a back-burner thing tho' because I have reasons for wanting to storyboard my Eyewitness animated short that could actually go somewhere... So, as soon as I'm totally DONE with my film AND this semester at UMASS I want to spent most of my creative effort working towards getting at least some rough storyboards actually sketched out, plus trying to get back into the croquis sketching. because I would REALLY like to try to see what things I could also do with OPEN TOONZ.
I'm hoping to play around with it at some point.
I feel like if I could JUST GET more time into at least 6 months worth of life drawings in quick gesture croquis I could get back to where I was about 2008-ish, or better like 2001-2006-ish.
I notice that people often tend to be like whatever towards me... or, don't know what to make of me...
but, when they actually see my actual artwork, it's this WHOAH, or WOW thing that happens...
This actually recently happened to me recently with a few of my video/animation projects at UMASS.
So, I know I haven't lost my ability, nor my vision.
Not only do I feel there is MORE I WANT to do, but there's so much MORE that I COULD DO.
Like, there's STILL a ZENITH somewhere, out there, and I still want to reach it.
OK, LIFE! Would u please stop being obnoxiously unreasonable n get ur stuff together because i would LIKE to actually be a LOT more productive! Just knock it off with all these stupid needless setbacks, already! Thanx!
I have no idea why so many set-backs keep on rolling out, one after the other. It's not as tho' I'm lazy, because I'm on the go CONSTANTLY. I HATE being caught unprepared. if something CAN be better, then it SHOULD JUST BE BETTER, especially when it's something SIMPLE.
A photo posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
And, STILL, my daughter has no end to her bloody literal problems. Today there was the drama of her Niagara nosebleeds. STOP FRICKIN' CALLING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS! I've been w/her and the spouse at the hospital TWICE this week already, and NO there is NO REASON why BOTH parents ought to be there.... A fricken NOSE BLEED? It's called WINTER! I get them too! They go away when summer starts. It means ya don't have enough vitamin C, zinc, and antioxidants. DUH! The cure: pomegranates, oranges, pine needle tea, cranberry juice, animal livers. In fact, I was bleeding in my nose yesterday slightly. It's because of the extreme cold, then going into warm buildings, PLUS heaters make the AIR DRY which makes the skin dry, and after a few days to a few weeks of this the membranes of your nose get thin, especially when ur vitamin C levels are depleted from being in the cold air and breathing it. It's NOT rocket science. My family got this problem, and I'm not the only one.
SO, THIS, had no problem rendering out:
This was the footage I came up with Originally, but I need to re-edit it again and fix it up, because this is a rough cut:
My instructor insisted that I re-shoot it, and he's a really nice guy, and even gave me his own paper... So, I was looking forward to re-shooting it based on his suggestions on Tuesday... even tho' I already liked what I was doing... he's also, kinda an aloof social butterfly... typical video people...
I missed school on Monday due to A.) having to go early to the hospital to get the kid an ultrasound, then B.) FUCKING SNOW + MIXED WEATHER! DAMMIT!
A photo posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
Then, after going to the hospital ALL THE WAY IN BOSTON, I couldn't go to the shooting studio which I reserved since last week on time. FEK! So, sentimental kid dude swoops in and takes the studio instead... fine, I can work on my editing... then, he's like: OK, it's all yours, but like EVERYBODY left, so I had to try n shoot the whole stinkin' thing MYSELF...
BUT, 1 of the light bulbs was broken. WTF!
So, then, I was blinded by the only bulb left, had to shoot almost totally blind, AND the lens focuses manually. I was SO proud of myself thinking I got it right, but ya never can really tell... I was off by like 2 mm so THE ENTIRE thing was OUT OF FOCUS. Not only that, but I shot EVERYTHING upside down! WTF! There's no other way to shoot it!
AND, the 1 light bulb despite being ULTRA BRIGHT was viewed by the camera components as shadowy... WTF? If It'd shot it with the bulb OFF it would've actually looked better... for lack of a better word... WASTE OF MY DAMN TIME! And, I'm OUT OF PAPER NOW! ALL DONE!
A video posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
I was already mad, and I didn't want to waste more time being mad so... I go to take back the video equipment n fetch tech dude whom wasn't even supposed to leave yet, n told me he was in the photo room, only to be NOWHERE... and the window was CLOSED.
SO, I'm stuck w ALL this thousands of dollars with of EXPENSIVE technology! AND I gotta take it ALL HOME, IN THE RAIN, on the TRAIN... don't even get me started on that... but, it gets worse... Mr. Wang makes me go to work... so, I gotta lug all THIS stuff, plus the stuff I lugged To school like Chinese calligraphy everything, in a luggage thingy because I hurt my back AGAIN. }:-(
I'm so sleep deprived, plus I gotta organize Biographies... lucky me... generally easy.... but my brain is drained...
Anyways, before I went to work, I manged to get some editing in and that's when stuff started not working right.
THIS bugger here went through several renders before it would work right!:
WHY???? I have NO idea! But, it kept squishing to 1444!
TODAY:
Anyways, I am frustrated as Hell w/Adobe because the updates screw stuff up OFTEN.
I
figured this week once I was on a roll: hey! I'm slick! I got this
stuff down! I'm nearly done, maybe I can still try n figure out that
butterfly bit I want to do after all! YAY! :D
Right?
Then, out of nowhere, Adobe doesn't feel like rendering things in the correct size, or sometimes without audio...
I kept assuming IT WAS ME! USER ERROR! WTF AM I DOING WRONG???
So, I grabbed Jon, the tech dude... over an hour later even he can't figure out why it's not working...
I lost so much time trying to trouble shoot, and NOTHING could be done to fix it! Not a single thing!
I started out by fixing up and reprogramming THIS:
It was KINDA amazing because I kinda felt like I WAS IN THE ZONE! Like I had the magic touch! It looked SO BAD before, and I made this version with the faster more liquidy ripple already, but the Butterfly body needed fixing. And, it just all happened like amazingly well! But, I got so caught up in tweaking it n playing with it because I could've done several things with it... this was what i finally settled on. SO, it looks good, I render it out, and all is well....
But, on my other rough cut edit with these butterfly bits strung together with my audio arrangement was missing the original project file, so I found another one similar to it... I had to adjust it because my instructor didn't like the way the Chinese characters seemed "distorted" as he put it... SO, I did actually fix that yesterday, but I lost some of the resolution quality, which bugged me when I resized the image overlay in Photoshop. That was a simple matter of just creating a new layer, and starting over... so i did. No Biggy...
Once I got to THIS MOFO Everything stopped working right:
See how it's the right size? 1920x1080!
But, I must've rendered a dozen times! This one when imported, even tho' it's the correct size if viewed by Adobe Premiere as a squished video even tho' the file plays correctly when NOT in the program, and the other files work properly also.
It rendered without sound, even tho' I didn't make it do that.
It should've been done BEFORE 3PM. I figured, OK, this looks fine. Let's render, then pop it into the full film sequence to edit it together as a rough cut and screen it to get a feel for the overall flow of the film so far... THEN, I intended to move onto trying, HOPEFULLY, to get the other 3D butterfly thingy I wanted for it. Otherwise, I gotta come up with more stuff like this to re-cut w/this audio.
While it was rendering, I had a tutorial open, and ready to watch hoping to really figure it out, as soon as THIS sucker was done as a place holder...
After 6PM NOTHING was done.
I even switched to a different computer. Then, THIS file started working right on it, just NOT in Premiere.
I HAD planned on going back tomorrow.... but, I'm SO exhausted...
I'll try to go back on Monday.
Today was technically the last class... but we have to come back on the 20th to screen our films.
I was told we were going to play it in the theater... but, now it's just being played in the video room...
I've been working on my report for my Video workshop class at UMASS Boston. I can't believe we have a report this massive for a worskshop, but we do.
I'm honestly really exhausted and I've been typing most of the day, plus I had to proofread & edit Mr. Wang's homework because his English isn't very good. He is supposed to graduate next semester in the Spring.
It's supposed to be a film review that contains a thesis argument. although this is not in the paper requirements that was handed out. the paper with the assignment was rather long, and several pages of all kinds of rules. There was a list of films we could choose. honestly, I wanted to do "End of Evangelion" which is SO RIPE with genius especially regarding film making as an artform... but, we had to stick to the list. I was gonna probably do "My Name Is Oona" because it's simple and easy and makes use of modern art and audio using black and white film. But, since "Apocalypse Now" was on the list, and he'd shown a clip of the sacrifice scene in which Kurts is slain I was curious about it since I'd never watched this film before. it just wasn't a popular film when I studied film in Philadelphia. My instructors in Philadelphia were more interested in films like: "The Exorcist", "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Fight Club" and analyzing some of my favorite contemporary films of the time like "Fight Club", and Sam Neil films. Yes, we did Citizen Kane in Philly, and YES is WAS ON THE LIST, but I felt that was just so normal and standard. Why isn't "All Quiet On The Western Front" on the list? But, alas, Exorcist wasn't on the list! Neither was 2001! So, I made the mistake of deciding to watch Apocalypse Now via some very friendly film fanatics from the lovely Czech Republic whom streamed it to me on their own dime, or whatever coins they use as metaphors... Not only was the film INCREDIBLY LOOOOOOONG it was rather horrifying, disturbing and incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE! Half way through I didn't want to even finish it, and I vented about it somewhat on FB. However, some of my friends (the male friends, since this film is grossly popular with a male audience) actually urged me to finish it, and also asked me which version I was watching? There's different versions? So, I went back to finish watching the film, and began to subjectively view the film as art... I still wasn't sure about doing my report on this film, and tried to get an HQ or HD version, and I the only version I could acquire with enough time required to complete the strict task was the Redux version which is apparent what I was originally watching streamed from the Czech republic. "Redux" also has discrepancies about it's pronunciation since some people think it's pronounced "ree-doo" like a re-do. being that I was already strapped for time, plus a final project film to start shooting footage for, AND a frigging' Holiday dinner to do, AND MY WORKSTUDY, plus my kid keeps almost bleeding to death FOR REAL, and tons of friggin' doctors & Hospital appointments, I HATE pressure and rushing! So, after consulting my teacher about it, and him seeming to like the idea of Apocalypse Now I decided since I'd already put in SO MUCH TIME, effort, and already did quite a bit of research on it already, to just go with it.
I don't know how I couldn't actually condensed the entire film into 3-5 pages, so after consulting my instructor, he told me to concentrate on just a few scenes like 2-3. I was going to an analysis comparison of the ending and the beginning sequences, plus an analysis of the Col. Kilgore full sequence. But, despite all my lengthy not taking which I spent days on, watching, re-watching, pausing, examining, I had to drop the entire Kilgore part. this is sad since it has the best camera tricks, technology, and techniques of the entire film right there, plus it's fraught allegories, symbolism, irony, motifs, pantone color palette schemes, and especially the heavy use of stacked lens filters. I just LOVE cameras! So, I just focused on these themes including the usage of audio and layering superimposed images, as well as analyzing WHY some parts effectively & deliberately break The Director's Line.
Having said that, I can"t believe I just typed all the stuff out... but, I could go on & on about Apocalypse Now and I've only watched it front to back about 6 times. But, I digress... The Video Graphics For My Film Thus Far:
Where do i even begin? Well, i HAVE been working on the experimental animation bits since October. That's the Butterfly work I did. Much of that will be in the film.
One this I'm struggling with is TRYING desperately to find SOMEBODY, ANYBODY whom can get ANY 3D tutorial for the NEW current Adobe Premiere Pro CC 2015 edition that actually works, and scripting that works, because even my instructor has no background in animation as I do.
What am I talking about?
THIS:
I want to make THIS but NOT with Adobe Illustrator, with Adobe Photoshop files. I can't get "The Slider" to work right, and I also can't get the wings to animate on the axis.
I can't find any NEW or CURRENT tutorials/demos step by step for this in the NEW version of Adobe After Effects. Not one, and nobody I personally know whom might have knowledge in this program won't help me. 3 people blew me off. And, whenever I tried to ask the instructors of these videos what to do, over a month has passed and I never got a single reply. Many videos, and other demos online ASSUME you already KNOW the program, and the basics... but, I don't.
I've tried repeatedly to trouble-shoot this, but I just haven't figured it out yet. Everyone swears its SO EASY yet, no one has any clue how to make it work, nor understand why it doesn't work in the new version. Also, the OLD scripting codes don't work.
There's one part of my film that I REALLY need to have 3D butteflies of artwork by my daughter which I reworked and formatted,and also by Mr. Wang.
There are actually SO MANY things i would just LOVE to create using After Effects, but I'm just running out of time, and the other animated ideas I had have to be scrapped.
Here a whole chunk of stuff I'd just LOVE incorporate with my work, but I just don't have the guidance to learn it, and I've already run out of so much time, since I can ONLY work on this stuff AT SCHOOL which take a long time to commute to, and I don't own the program myself.
Playlist of stuff love love from After Effects:
After I shot a lot of footage during Thanks giving week and weekend, I realized I probably will need some graphics. Since I already have YEARS WORTH of stuff I created I began to go through my CD-ROM & DVD-ROM archives in stacks and it's sad what I actually lots or can't find.
I won't be using my animated logo since It's not really at a level of my actual vision, and doesn;t have the level of quality I would prefer. I'm so picky, about everything, especially my own stuff.
I know a lot of people will NOT be happy about this, but I WILL NOT BE USING THIS:
No groaning or whining! Nope! It's just not up to my actual vision for it despite the months of work I put into it! I like the original penciltest version of it, but i also feel it could just be way better, and also I couldn't do what i wanted with it. Also, all my instructors at the time whom loved it when i made it, actually nit-picked the hell out of it to force me to fail while passing other people with nowhere near the level of skills I had. So, Maybe i have a chip on my shoulders over it...
I was so nervous and sweating bullets when I screened my old 2001 demo reel which included this in it, and it old digital + VHS analog stuff. i guess I'm so accustomed to being slandered, bullied, teased, or mocked for so much of my work in New England despite being popular in Philadelphia, plus the fact that I was a "philosophy major" in a class with "video production" people and other artists, whereas I'm also an animator... being an artist was something people in the academic settings sneered at me over, or viewed me as crazy for doing it or being it... like being an artist was a mental illness... yet, since i was an artist, whenever i met other artists whom found out I wasn't majoring in art, they also had a kind of sneer towards me as well -like: gross! or, how boring! or, why would u do a thing like that?! Or an overall lack of respect for me... yet, when I screened my demo reel on the first day, and I felt I might have a heart attack, because it was so old, and dated, and I wanted to cry, I was surprised at just how much praise I got for it. People had so many questions, and I got a large applause, and many accolades for it.
But, sorry, I just won't be using this.
I will however, be using my own customized graphics.
The reason I came up with this idea was a string of things, and they're all kind of flowing together. "Flow" is kind of a major theme with me lately, especially in regards to Taoism concepts, and NO not the religious nonsense, I mean the concepts by Laozi (Lao Tsu).
Here's The graphics that I worked on for hours on Sunday:
It's not that much more ostentatious than anything by Tristar Pictures, or Columbia Pictures. It's just a still frame/graphic, and many studios have done it. Not that i wouldn't LOVE to do an animated logo, I WOULD, but that takes time which I don't have.
I often kept fighting myself, or fighting my inner self since there's this pressure to stifle a lot of my wilder or robust artistic visions. Many of my concept works at AIPH often had to be "simplified" or "toned down" which I was not always happy about, but if you're learning something you want to go with the standards... however, much of those ideas are way out of style now. I also do NOT see eye to eye artistically with my spouse as an artist, whom I often disagree intensely with. I find many of his tastes and preferences in art to be BLAND, BORING, FLAT, LAZY, or CHEAP. But, artistic tastes are VERY individual.
I also can veer into being a bit of an iconoclast, somewhat... yet, i was fearcely afraid of doing that at UMASS. Strangely, in the art department i found whenever I would do those things, even in the slightest, or the more robustly something kind of slipped out into my work, the more it was better received. I guess artists like THE WEIRD.
The actual assignment for the film is an intentionally vague word play on "document" and strongly implies modern art, or avant garde approaches to things. However, it was entirely open to interpretation. I found that my instructor, and much of the faculty (since I've attended a number of visiting artist lectures with them) have a strong fondness for modern art. Not that I don't like those things, I do... But, I can start to see and feel a theme here.
I wanted to go with a more surrealist or surrealism vibe to my film.
My instructor had encouraged me many times to switch my major to art, and not to totally drop out of school, which I almost did. it's not that i didn't love philosophy, i really love it, but I felt my desire for art growing stronger than ever, and it was killing me. I also has so many medical issues, and I just can't explain to anyone just how difficult it was on my commuting. Philosophy in the acedemic setting is on a regimented time slot, and altho' I was doing very well, with high grades, my perfectionism was just RUINING ME, and I could NOT handle the pressure, because I can't read very fast, and I need more time. Doing philosophy on my own time had zero pressure and I was free to explore it on my own time, and utilize it within my actual living life,whereas academic philosophy was about writing papers, and being exact, and being on time, and since I was older than everyone else i felt so much pressure within myself to be a better example to all of those young people. If I had lived nearby the school with a short commute it wouldn't have been an issue. But, with expenses, motherhood, and so much wasted downtime, and tons of guilt, shame, and pressure, I was in so much pain not just from my injuries, which was an onslaught of 1 after the other, but my mental state was just a hell. By early October I had these terrible thought about myself, my life, and I was wracked with anxiety and insomnia, plus the intense depression. My nerves were so bad that I would shake before I went to school, and when I got there I would start to cry every day because I had so much pain inside of me. I almost totally dropped out. I even considered going to some kind of institution for therapy because I wanted to die, and I felt so hopeless. But, as I was going through the process of dropping out, we decided to keep the video class, I also still wish I'd kept my English class because I really liked it. Now that I've changed my major to Art, I got all of the Spring Semester classes as video, and luckily all taught by the same instructor I have now. He also created a brand new class which will involved stop motion animation which is totally brand new, and it looks like we'll also be doing some 3D printing. I also made sure to get a digital media class. I'm assuming it's the newer Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator and my instructor said this teacher is a good one. It's strange because I'm actually not following any rules right now.... like, I'm supposed to take English and a Seminar... but, I'm totally getting away with doing what I actually want to do... I do feel very bad about not doing the academics, because I actually enjoy those. But, doing, learning, and improving what I actually want to makes me feel much happier. Also, film and video is a NEW thing at UMASS that just started recently. It's also expanding. They also have Cinema Studies as a Minor.
Even tho' I've switched from Philosophy to Art as my major, philosophy is STILL a HUGE part of my life, often every day just as before I started at UMASS. So, it's only natural that it will be inside of my artwork.
While I'm at my Workstudy in the Library in Quincy I listen to podcasts which are almost always philosophical, or strait up philosophy lectures. I also listen to inspirational stuff.
A big theme that really started to pick up once again in my life was "Tao" (The Way) regarding the concept of "Flow". It's been something I'm often contemplating. (Taoism concepts) These often have parallels in Ancient Greek philosophers and Pre-Socrattics like Heraclitus of Ephesus whom spoke about how one cannot step into the same river twice since it was always moving and flowing, where as Parmenides felt everything was part of the same steady flow. In China there were 2 different main Masters/teachers which were Laozi (Lao Tsu) whom created the principles of Taoism (Yin Yang) as forced of nature that flow and cycle, and emphasized concepts in nature much like the Greeks like "the river", flow, and water or wind/air, and the other allegedly his student Kong Fusi (Confucius) whom developed a different system. They are quite different since Laozi & Toaism emphasize "embracing the un-carved block" and "cultivating the way" (symbolic reference to farming or gardening) whereas Kong Fusi (Confucius) founded of Confucianism emphasizes more on rules, refinement (a refined piece of jade is elegance, and a human being must be thus, scrubbed, carved, whittled away, roughness made smooth ), loosing ones wildness, manners, but also an emphasis on one's status or place in society almost but not quite like the Hindu Cast System. Although I find I often dislike most of the bulk of the content from Confucianism there are a number of key aspects, which Zen Buddhists also seem to love, are his concepts of compassion, kindness, benevolence, but also enduring and overcoming hardships, abuses, and very bad things in life, often in the hopes of some sort of transitional or transformational aspect of the self.
It was during my time at my workstudy job I stumbled across a philosophy by Shannon Lee, daughter of the late Bruce lee whom often made a HUGE emphasis in his life and works using and reinterpreting Taoist concepts for a mid-late 20th century audience or his own students. He's most known for his "water" quotes which are basically paraphrased from Laozi (Laotsu) but in his own words. Lee was very much an artist and incredible creative person. So, in my down-times often on my commutes I was researching Bruce Lee information since there's so much more out there now due to Shannon Lee. And, I must say that as beautiful as she is It's uncanny and almost haunting at the strikingly STRONG resemblance to her older brother, the late Brandon Lee that I almost expected her to say "can't rain all the time" [from the film "The Crow" 1994] Yes, rain/water/flow pun intended!
Much of these podcasts which are partly lectures, and partly inspirational, and partly almost like a talk show filled with so much personal stuff.
Bruce Lee often liked to use symbolisms in his work. In Enter The Dragon there are many parable-like parts, and the mirror scene at the end is full of symbolism. In Game of Death which is apparently an incomplete unfinished film he also uses heavily themes like levels, archetypes, philosophy applied to psychology in character development, pragmatism, and it's also very iconoclastic. It refuted the rigidity of rules or conformity. it also weaves in and out of some aspects of Confucianism with a heavy emphasis more on Taoism's FLOW or water ideology and flexibility as well as using nature as a symbolic philosophy. At the same time he uses a fusion of East and West, New and Old, and instead of wearing a martial arts uniform he wears a modern yellow tracksuit which is the furthest thing from the ancient styles since he was very much into fitness, athletic self care, and practical mobility. He also heavily incorporates dance and individual artistic self expression.
Much of these things really had my mind going, so since I had already come up with the butterfly graphics as a way of participating in #Inktober & #Drawtober as a artistic practice, I also intended to use it for my experimental animations for my final/film. Also, these butterflies have the Chinese characters in them and I wanted to stick with a word pun themes plus "flow".
This sort of morphed, or should I say meta-morphed (butterfly pun) into expanding to other things, ideas, etc... that being Etymology. So, even tho' I had many times seen it demonstrated as a small demonstration how Chinese words are written, which began as pictographs, I felt I could take this and make a story out of it which was a layers of puns either written or spoken, yet also be somewhat abstract.
So, I shot an entire scene with doing Chinese calligraphy. I realize my calligraphy is terrible, and I'm out of practice, so I will include several subtitles, because it can't be understood in English without it unless u are bilingual PLUS can read Chinese. (Not everyone that speaks Chinese can read Chinese.) It also includes a similar Buddhist concept called Dharma which is semi similar to Taoism's concept of "The Way" which I believe was created by Siddhartha Gautama (often referred to by many titles as the first Buddha, The Tathagotta, and many other titles but was just a normal human being and not actually a god) to refute the Hindu Cast System of Karma. It's sometimes compared to Chinese "Daoli" modern Taoist ideas and popular in Zen circles.
I've re-shot multiple takes, until I realized the camera angle was bad. The final uncut/unedited version is this one:
And, since I was already going with the flow on this stuff, word puns, etymology, surrealism, art, Taoism, etc. I figured I follow through with it in my own name, and thus that led to the graphics.
Here, this is how it flows into each other:
Here's a quick shot of my Chinese name on a Chinese name stamp/seal or whatever word u want to call it.
My surname in Chinese is "ren" almost all of the original characters (especially starting with the butterflies) are also pronounced "ren". My Full Ming Zi (Chinese name) is 任思麒 "Ren Siqi". Si + Qi means one whom considers or contemplated that Qi (referring to Qilin, sometimes depicts as unicorns, or dragon-like horse/deer animal beings of great auspiciousness, that walk on the air or clouds, and often foretold the birth of either Confucius, Lao Tsu, or other great figures, usually thinkers). (Not that I'm 1 o' those dudes!!!)
Much of the words in my Chinese name 任思麒 are ALSO in the video footage calligraphy story. It's layers of puns within puns.
Since I already have mys own artwork already, I edited and reformatted the graphics...
So, I figured, Since that's my name, I'd put the graphics pair may name with the image in the graphics, which by the way are also depicting the Qilin WITH FLOWING HAIR on a cloud, with auspicious mists (air/water flow).
There, you see? That's how I did that, that's WHY I did that. It all "FLOWS" together.
I've been avoiding show this stuff to Mr. Wang whom has his rigid concept of whatever he thinks is Chinese this or that, which completely is at odds with so much of the official literature I've have put in years worth of researching, learning, contemplating... and remember "The Tao that can be named IS NOT THE WAY" which means just by saying his rigid ideas and affirming at as so (even tho' he also never puts the time into learning it) he is therefore WRONG, and it is NOT the way. he also seems rather xenophobic or ethnocentric over it, since I'm not a person of ethnic Sino heritage.
This reminds me of things that zen practitioners often comment about how when people try to build a Chinese "scholar's garden" either in the West, or new ones in Asia, they never do anything new, and don't actually follow the principles thereby not ACTUALLY creating a true scholar's garden but a making a COPY of something that already exists. Remember "the Tao (The Way) that can be named is not the Tao (The Way)".
This all sort of dove-tails into the modernized words of Bruce Lee.
See? It all makes sense.
I wouldn't say it was clever, or genius.... but, I would say it's FUNNY or humorous. To me it is. But, i don't mean it in a mocking way at all.
Other examples of this etymology styles of art are not actually new and I recall throughout China all kinds of wall, paintings, memorials, and placards with rows of words with the same sounding name, but each character was a different and a different meaning. There is a Chinese classical novel "A Dream of Red mansions" which often makes use of the etymology throughout the story, not just as poetry but various scenes, and cultural ideas. The great poet Li Bai (744 AD–762 AD) often made use of this punning artistic style, and many of the written out versions of his poems contain related characters which have similarly constructed characters, or they rhyme, or have different meanings or feeling when receipted out loud versus the way they are written down. I don;t know how to actually explain this in English, and I'm not actually an expert in it at all. So, it's not my full brand new idea, it's based on things which already exist. I have so much more to say on the other bits of content yet to be put into my film. I've records video footage, and audio recordings. But, I've already written a lot, and i'm tired.
* Ur a good drawler. * Did u just draw that? (as the pencil is in ur hand sketching) * Where did u learn to draw? (but doesn't actually care about the answer) * Ur gonna be soooooooo FAMOUS! Ur gonna make so much money! (as ur drawing a simple doodle that obviously sux to anyone that can actually draw, because non-artists no nothing about art) * OMG! One time my friend drew this awesome rad skull picture! U know him, right? (No, I don't know every other artists in the world) * Oh, they're having a stupid art gallery show today. Art is stupid. Hey lady, do u come here often? Want my number? (Then you tell them ur an artist, that's why ur there, and SUDDENLY ART is all MIND BLOWING to them, then u point out the picture ur standing in front of and they don't even believe u made it. What? Girls can't do art?) * That's a great painting! (But, ur sketching with colored pencils or using pastels or charcoal)
* Also everyone assumed that being an artists means u ONLY DO PAINTINGS. No, I mostly sketch things, use computers, and also build things by hand. Painting is kind of expensive. * U sell prints of things, but NOBODY understand what a print is, but that ACTUALLY majority of folks understand the word lithograph... WHAT???? And, NO, It's NOT technically a lithograph. Its' nuanced. * People always thinks all artists have attitude problems, they're temperamental, moody, insane, emotional... um... do realize how many really BLAND artists there are that I know? There's the types where EVERYTHING is WHITE, or BLACK, or "simple", or "minimal". * Everyone assumes I own and wear a beret, or speak French... nope, I speak English, and some German and Chinese... * People think artists play jungle drum music and spin around flinging paint everywhere... Why the heck would I do that? that's stupid! * All the tons of stupid sexual jokes about how artists are obsessed with "texture", usually referring to my pubic hairs. Um... defiantly not going home with you tonight... * people are shocked that a lot of artists like power tools... um... yeah, I make stuff... I need power tools. * People think math is useless, but I often use basic geometry to keep things even, layouts, symmetry.... I'm pretty sure the basics were worth learning...
*People whom smear at me, and my art all the time, but them demand I do work for FREE for them spur of the moment. * people that are also artists, but not very good ones, then send me gushy fan mails thinking to butter me up then DEMAND I do thousands of dollars worth of work, like digital coloring JUST BECAUSE they think they are kissing up to me...
*Corporations with big budgets that want to use ur work FOR FREE and say u will get "exposure". How stupid do I look?
I'm not EXACTLY sure what I'm doing for my Final Project in my video class (UMASS Boston) yet, but I have a lot of ideas, and they;re all coming together, n swimming in my mind.
I've been experimenting with Adobe After Effects since last month, and it's often frustrating, and I am so ignorant of so much of the program, interface, and so on... but, it's starting to go somewhere...
I have a ton of all kinds of great stuff, including lots of video footage from 2 different CANON cameras, and multiple lenses, and filters, and even a fisheye. The final is mostly widely open, and I'm still stuck on this video mapping project that I want to just punch, because I'm so frustrated with projectors. I'm STILL not done yet. And, I've been busting my butt over it.
Anyways, since I had a bunch of downtime, and wasted time waiting, waiting, waiting, and waiting for anything and everything and things to work, but never did... so, I started mixing some of my After Effects rendered animation in Premiere n messing with different audio. I had a whole bunch of audio that I dug up, but even tho' I liked the audio edit I originally did, I felt like I needed to make this clip shorter, and cut out my 303 acid audio to just keep this simple sonar audio.
But, I think I'm starting to come up with some concepts inside my mind that I am really feeling, and really want to go with. I just want a certain kind of weird, and beautiful. And, more and more, it's starting to make me want to go more surrealist/surrealism...
I already have quite a bit of audio clips I've already been compiling...
A photo posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
I'm hoping I can use these in my Final Project for my video class. At the moment I'm still hauling ass for my waterfall video mapping instillation art video project. Talk about cramming & pressure!
A photo posted by Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman 任思麒 (@blackunigryphon) on
I actually have so many ideas, and I wanted to do a lot more with these experiments, but I had limited time, money, and access to time 1 on 1 w/my instructor. I also don't Own After Effects, nor a computer modern enough to handle the newer versions of Adobe CS programs, or Davinci Resolve.
Anyways, I am starting all over to create an entirely different project, and altho' I LOVE these, I will be creating a Projection/projector Video Mapping style Installation Art project.
My OTHER video project I created for my UMASS video class is HERE.
My Butterfly created HALF by hand with the Chinese character 忍
I don't particularly care, nor necessarily like, working with inks other than the occasional graphic art marker. Having said that, I do, however, have a video class at UMASS, and we are working on all kinds of things.
So, I asked my daughter to draw me a Butterfly to try some tricks on Adobe After Effects. What my daughter came up with wasn't exactly what I wanted, so I scanned and altered it from her original version, and made this version:
Note: The wing has the Chinese character 忍 (Forbearance or Endurance, or to endure harshness or hardship. It's often popular in Japan, and with Zen, but actually hails from Confucius and not Buddhism or Taoism.
I am still unsure as to whether I will use this in my video project at UMASS or not yet.
