My Film Succor Forlorn is BLOWING UP at Film Festivals GLOBALLY

 

Back in 2019, like definitely a year of mayhem, filmmaking, animation, Pokemon Go CRAZINESS. I had produced a number of TV shows that aired on local TV. Here's BLOG POST. Definately a nutty year. My Live Streaming was hacked, my iPhone was hacked, my Computer was hacked AND VERY BADLY.

But, I manged to complete my Film "Succor Forlorn"which I blogged about my process on in my "Lively OC Blog" a number of times in 2019. Not long after completing THAT FILM which was fraught with delays, hackings, setbacks, cyber bullying, and ALL the "new friends" I PRESUMED I had on a certain streaming platform, as well as my IRL Friends whom PROMISED to show up (WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF ADVANCE NOTICE) to watch my world premiere stream LIVE BROADCAST of the film ALL BAILED ON ME. I EVEN REMINDED THEM. So, basically, I have a Live Stream of basically NO ONE.

I worked SO HARD on this film, and I ALMOST TOTALLY LOST IT FOREVER due to vicious hackers. They DESTROYED all of my hard drives. The drives were so slowed down, that any data recovery was mostly impossible. So on November 1st, 2019 it was TOTALLY RUINED. I was TRYING DESPERATELY to outrun the hackings, whom would also DDOS my Livestreams, and my MODEM. So, not long after that, a Pandemic ensued... so I was effectively WITHOUT a COMPUTER, and MY DATA (most of which was lost), UNTIL AUGUST of 2020! Frickin CRAZY!

I recalled all the great interest, when I 1st posted my Concept Art on Twitter for the film, and getting a HUGE response, but since the setbacks kept occurring, I guess it just died down the enthusiasm. 

I remembered working on the film and DREAMING, while FULLY INTENDING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN as any Filmmaker like myself ought, that I would put the film in a few Film festivals.

Back in 2019, my thought/idea/dream was to put the film into a few small festivals, like SciFi, Cult, Indie, Experimental, and Artsy Festivals. I'd been to a few Film Festivals in my life, so I knew what it was like in general, as well as Animation Festivals. Honestly, I just thought I'd do like 2-3 little niche festivals with the "weirdo" type stuff. I figured my films was just "odd" & unique enough for those, and had ZERO ambition for anything else. I figured, I could stick it into my Resume, just like everything else. Also, the film was intended as a sort of Demo Reel as well. To showcase ALL of my skills & talents. Produced ENTIRELY BY ME. Something I could be proud of.

In 2020-2021, I'd also submitted my photography to a few international competitions, which I was also invited to FERVENTLY, and I had to PAY for admission, BUT NOTHING EVER CAME OF IT. I honestly DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER WHICH ONES I DID, nor HOW MANY. After a while, I just didn't want to spend the money on those. I literally would get these invites, and they would build up the pressure form individuals on a specific platform, but I never won the To Prize, but my Followers would grow sometimes by the min. 

So, my attitude towards Film festivals was sort of like that. Like something to do. Something to try, like a ba-jillion other things I've tried. Since my friends didn't seem all that impressed or interested in my film, I also didn't think much of it as time passed, and I worked on other projects.

But, in 2020 I desperately wanted to put my film in Festivals, then COVID happened, so at 1st I had no money, then when I did, they were all postponed, canceled, or they changed the rules. What do I mean? Well, somewhere in there, they changed the rules & restrictions to ONLY FILMS COMPLETED DURRING the PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN of 2020-2021! WTF???

I worked SO HARD on THAT FILM. But, NO! NOT GOOD ENOUGH! That's UNHEARD OF! Usually, most Film Festivals accept films completed 1-3 years before the date of the Film Festival. But, they just erased 2019 as tho it NEVER HAPPENED! 

So, 2020 turned into 2021, and each time I found a Film Festival that MIGHT accept my film, I read the rules, and they were like: ONLY FILMS completed in 2020-2021! WTF???

So, when 2022 hit, I just presumed: Oh well! I guess its OVER! Like, I GOT SICK working on that film. 

I had to delay working on it FOR OTHER PERSONS' PROJECTS because THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO VFX Composites, or how to use Low Level lighting, or A PRIME LENS, or whisked a way on film shooting locations WHILE I'M IN SEVERE BACK PAIN, N DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE in ANOTHER STATE, while people are playing ego trip head games on me. I also GOT PAID NOTHING TO HELP THEM. NONE OF THEM. And I had a TV station play "musical chairs" with our time slots, and have the gall to get ANGRY AT US, while gaslighting us BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE TIME SLOTS, NOT US. It was like LIFE had just SCREWED me that year. No matter HOW NICE I was. NONE OF THAT MATTERED. I even GOT BANNED 3 times (2019) in Pokemon Go by HATERS, plus while playing PVP on the highway! I also had a CREEPY frickin stalker problem when I went outside. (ANOTHER LONG STORY.) Bad enough there's a deadly frickin plague on the loose! 

But, in March this year (2022) I saw this email in my inbox, and it was suggesting I check out a certain Film Festival (I'd already peeked at maybe 5-6 in the winter already) which was a SciFi Festival. It caught my eye. And, it bugged me. I'll bet they have a STOOPID rule about NO films before 2020, or 2021, or something like that... right? Or some ridiculous COVID restriction EVEN THO its all done online. 

Right???

Nope!

So, I read through the rules, the categories.... and NO STUPID rules like that at all!

Then, I decided to just do it! 

They just required the Film, A Trailer, A Movie Poster, A Director's Bio, Synopsis, some stills from the film, some links, and A Headshot of the Director (me). That's it??? 

OK! So, I started that! Spent the WHOLE NIGHT setting that up, went to bed long after 4AM, then when I woke up, I cut my Trailer in Adobe Premiere, Rendered it out, Did my Movie Poster, and submitted everything.

Then I thought about a few other ones. But which ones?

I searched through the Film Festivals, found 2 more I liked, and I Tweeted it out that I was submitting my films to some Festivals this year.

I figured THAT WOULD BE IT, I had ZERO ambitions of winning ANYTHING. Just hoping my Film would be CHOSEN and approved. That was it.

But, then I GOT SCOUTED!

Some Film Connoisseurs started chatting with me, asking me about my film. Next thing I knew, they were inviting me to submit my film to specific festivals, and advising me what to do. Next thing I knew, THE BUZZ WAS ON! And I kept getting more & more invitations! 

They were SO NICE!

Then, at the end of April I started WINNING EACH FESTIVAL that had started their events! 

Then, I had to do marketing, PR, and I got on THE HOT LIST at least 3 times already!

My Film WON at the Hollywood Blvd Film Festival! WHAT???

 

Next thing I knew, even tho I'd ONLY intended to do the small niche weirdo festivals, THE BIGGER ONES WERE NOTICING ME!

I GOT a PERSONAL INVITATION to CANNES AWARDS FESTIVAL! I almost HAD A HEART ATTACK! I was hyper Ventilating, and almost blacked out! I NEVER thought I was ever even GOOD ENOUGH for CANNES!

 Anyways, my film will also be screened in Art Hub cities in Italy like Florence, Milan, Malta, Rome, also Paris, London, Vienna, Casablanca, NYC, and lots more. I'm booked up in more than 60+ Festivals now until 2023. I've signed 2 Contract deals.

My Film will be streaming soon on the Paus app from England INTERNATIONALLY!

I had to do my IMDb Profile stuff, for myself AND my Film which requires data entry style programming, and its tedious AF! There's a flashback from the 90s! Remember back in the day when IMDb was just a movie buff site for nerds? I DO.

My INBOX is NUTS! Just NUTS! HOW does ANYONE handle this much attention???

CRAZY!

I need to probably get an Agent, Manager, Talent Attorney, and I might have to join a Guild, like The Writers' Guild. I'm trying to figure out WHAT TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS MOVING FORWARD.

So, I GUESS this is kind of my life right now! EVERY DAY something new happens! My email INBOX is just NUTS! 

I can't get ANYTHING DONE lately! And, I started up my Twitch streaming again.

So, I STILL have dreams to fulfill, or at least make a TRY for it!

It's STILL so strange to me! Like, in my head, it's like IMPOSTER SYNDROME. I've been SO SHIT ON, TRASHED, ABUSED, SCREWED OVER, MISTREATED, and undermined for my ENTIRE ADULT LIFE, that I'm just thinking: Am I actually GOOD? Like, is it ACTUALLY GOOD???

Are people just being NICE or KINDLY TO ME??? Are the just HUMORING ME?

Then I look at my INBOX, and I'm STILL SHOCKED! Like: WOW!

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE MY FILM! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???

Like, I WON BEST SHORT EXPERIMENTAL Film at Hollywood Blvd! 

And, THEY INVITED ME AT THE CANNES AWARDS FILM FESTIVAL! CANNES!!! FRICKIN CANNES!!!! OMFG!!!

Update Doing Well on NewGrounds

Well, Let's just say I'm doing well on NewGrounds. :)

My Final Jackalope Film is finally finished, and it also got a 3rd Place Trophy Last week:

I also got Cinema 4D and not only was I obsessively playing with it, and learning simple stuff, but I started doing my Logo animation/motion-graphics with a new NURBS Extrude. Here's a compilation of the older stuff and the new Cinema 4D. (I also have Houdini but I don't understand it at all)

My animated video content seems to do rather well. My views on YouTube don;t even get counted most of the time, tho'. I've tested it.

I did THIS Waterfall particles bit using JUST that CC Particle World in After Effects. It took several tries over a span of 3 weeks.

Oh, and I have Red Giant's Trapcode Suit! ^,^ So, I made a simple smoke test. I think this was the 3rd try, but it was rather easy. However, I must've obsessively looked up SO MANY tutorials for Trapcode that I didn't even do much with it, and it was THE PROGRAM PLUGIN I wanted SO BAD! 

I also got some cool plugins by Video Copilot, but haven;t used them yet.

It's just that I got so obsessive with Cinema 4D, plus I often have a problem with pesky hackers. I honestly HAVE ZERO INTEREST in becoming some kind of 3D artist. But, I like using some bits to supplement my artwork. I DO NOT like the idea of 3D REPLACING ME AS AN ARTIST, NOR REPLACING MY ART. 

I'm also a TERRIBLE Tweening animator, and I'm not good at curves N vectors.

Anyways, I am constantly looking up tutorials, demos, and resources to learn the various things I can do, often in combination, with the software I have now. 

I'm curious to try to get Blender also. 

The 2 main things I want to use 3D CGI Software are only a few things. For the most part, I prefer doing animation as a Traditional Animator, frame-by-frame, hand drawn. But I like VFX, and I like things like particles, extrude, and props like furniture, background elements, buildings,  machines, architecture, and camera movements in an environment. 

I'm FINE with using the 3D programs and elements AS A TOOL. 

I am NOT 3D's bitch, 3D IS MY BITCH! It is MY TOOL! I MAKE THE ART. I AM THE ARTIST, and NOT THE MACHINE. ARTISTS ARE NOT MACHINES. (I feel the same way about this as I do about "the industry", but also aspects of academia, politics, herd psychology, social presuppositions, and many other things.) 

So, what is it I wish to do? 

Well, as always, I have a number of concepts that are LARGER GOALS, much longer down the line, but totally doable... Some day, I wish to do those things. 

SOME DAY

THIS WILL BECOME A REALITY! 

BELIEVE IT!

I KNOW it can be done because a BIG inspiration to me that proves to me it can be done is the beginning part of Titan AE:

The GRASS in the open planes and savannas. THAT is what I NEED it for!

Some of my old work:

Conceptual Ideas Dump: Artistic Cosplay Experimental

First of all, I actually DO NOT want this project to be ALL-ABOUT-ME. It's just that the only stuff I have to show is my own stuff.

Some conceptual ideas n content for possible local Television artistic content.

It's hard to just go up to a creative person and be like: Hey I want to do something creative, and artsy, would you like to do something too?

Because: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Well, I'd LOVE to go to a number of locations in Local New England and shoot there, but I'm also open to shooting creative things in a studio setting as well.

Here's loads of my own stuff, but I honestly don't want it to be ALL-ABOUT-ME!

So, I have cosplay characters, costumes, poetry, Shakespeare sonnets, and a lot of other ideas.

I like doing whimsical things, experimental art/film/photography, but I can also be deep, emotive, quirky, and comedic.



1 of several audio recording renditions of Shakespeare's Sonnet 29:

My Cosplay Pirate Character (Marshall Kändiß The Pyrate) whom is a quirky megalomaniac, is one I had worked on the most over the years. My blog is found HERE.

I had mostly enjoyed doing her character in the fall.

It was fun to play her because she's sort of self centered, full of herself, self important, but she's quirky so it's not abrasive, but funny or comedic. I actually never got around to creating her baton because she's a French Naval Marshall which outranks an admiral. (Yes. I did tell you she was a megalomania. It's NOT enough for her to be anything less than the top, but she sort of stumbles into these things, taking credit for it. So yeah, Moral Relativism... And, I'm also a Stephen Chow fan. )
She's selfish, but if it suits her purposes (ego/pride) she'd be generous, and Robin Hood-like.

But, she also has her down times, and when I explored her character further, I did things like quoting poetry, and drama. Especially Shakespeare, but other ones as well. AT times it could be EMO/Emotive, Gothic, dark, or deep.

I also had other concepts for her in Raves, and Pirate Pebbs & This Character went to cross dresser events, night clubs, raves, karaoke, fairs, festivals, conventions, parties, events, etc.

Pirate Pebbs n I were both in some parts of this film documentary (also the trailer):

I have also heavily dedicated A LOT of my time to Boho Chic, Bohemian, Gypset, Mori Girl, Hippie-ish stuff, and other free spirited styles including Tribal Fusion Bellydance & Rave.

My Boho content blog is found HERE.

My Animation Experimental Film Final Spring 2017 UMASS Boston

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These are several of the things I'd been coming up with. Much of it is VERY personal, and VERY emotional to me, and it's VERY difficult for me to put myself out there with. Much of it is still crude and unrefined.  The "Blue Fairy" melody was one I'd composed when I was 6 years old. I'd used it throughout my life.

And the other songs about dragons are incredibly personal, that I often cry when talking about it. It comes from the animated film/series I want to produce and had originally started creating in 1998, and well into 2004. But, the economy destroyed my hopes & dreams and I did not pick it back up until 2015 because I'd felt as tho' I was literally loosing my mind, and it was very painful.

I started taking walks in the woods and I started hearing the music inside of my head, which was really scary. But no matter how much I fought it, I couldn't win. When I stopped fighting it, the music came out of my throat, and and next thing I knew I was in a mania of jotting down the lyrics, and recording the crude stuff coming out of my throat. I was very happy with what came out.

(Just in case u were curious or interested, this is the concept art/work for my Dragon Film:  HERE I'm not in any particular hurry to go into full production yet, tho.)

(Concept art for "Eyewitness" series which I'm also NOT in a hurry to jump into full production on: HERE )

Original Texts "Get Ready To Fly": HERE

Original Poem Texts 
"The End Surreal To Start Parts 1-2": HERE

My original poetry n lyrics texts found HERE.

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Honestly, I DO NOT WANT the Artistic work on these projects to be ALL ABOUT ME. BUT, I DO need to at least SHOW what I mean, and it's pretty broad. So, most of what I have here is ME, because I'm the ONLY model available to me all the time, since my daughter won't model for me anymore. But, I am getting old.

Eventually I would LOVE to shoot in Morocco, but I'm not in a rush to do that either. I'd VERY much like to create collaborative content that is artistic, whimsical, beautiful, and eye catching.

But, I see no reason why New England can't be a beautiful place to shoot.

Salem Mass Burial Point:

Weymouth Waterfall at the Herring Run

Highland Colonial Cemetary in South Weymouth:

Pond Meadow Park in East Weymouth

Whitman's Pond in East Weymouth

South Weymouth

Indoors