Well, Let's just say I'm doing well on NewGrounds. :)
My Final Jackalope Film is finally finished, and it also got a 3rd Place Trophy Last week:
I also got Cinema 4D and not only was I obsessively playing with it, and learning simple stuff, but I started doing my Logo animation/motion-graphics with a new NURBS Extrude. Here's a compilation of the older stuff and the new Cinema 4D. (I also have Houdini but I don't understand it at all)
My animated video content seems to do rather well. My views on YouTube don;t even get counted most of the time, tho'. I've tested it.
I did THIS Waterfall particles bit using JUST that CC Particle World in After Effects. It took several tries over a span of 3 weeks.
Oh, and I have Red Giant's Trapcode Suit! ^,^ So, I made a simple smoke test. I think this was the 3rd try, but it was rather easy. However, I must've obsessively looked up SO MANY tutorials for Trapcode that I didn't even do much with it, and it was THE PROGRAM PLUGIN I wanted SO BAD!
I also got some cool plugins by Video Copilot, but haven;t used them yet.
It's just that I got so obsessive with Cinema 4D, plus I often have a problem with pesky hackers. I honestly HAVE ZERO INTEREST in becoming some kind of 3D artist. But, I like using some bits to supplement my artwork. I DO NOT like the idea of 3D REPLACING ME AS AN ARTIST, NOR REPLACING MY ART.
I'm also a TERRIBLE Tweening animator, and I'm not good at curves N vectors.
Anyways, I am constantly looking up tutorials, demos, and resources to learn the various things I can do, often in combination, with the software I have now.
I'm curious to try to get Blender also.
The 2 main things I want to use 3D CGI Software are only a few things. For the most part, I prefer doing animation as a Traditional Animator, frame-by-frame, hand drawn. But I like VFX, and I like things like particles, extrude, and props like furniture, background elements, buildings, machines, architecture, and camera movements in an environment.
I'm FINE with using the 3D programs and elements AS A TOOL.
I am NOT 3D's bitch, 3D IS MY BITCH! It is MY TOOL! I MAKE THE ART. I AM THE ARTIST, and NOT THE MACHINE. ARTISTS ARE NOT MACHINES. (I feel the same way about this as I do about "the industry", but also aspects of academia, politics, herd psychology, social presuppositions, and many other things.)
So, what is it I wish to do?
Well, as always, I have a number of concepts that are LARGER GOALS, much longer down the line, but totally doable... Some day, I wish to do those things.
SOME DAY
THIS WILL BECOME A REALITY!
BELIEVE IT!
I KNOW it can be done because a BIG inspiration to me that proves to me it can be done is the beginning part of Titan AE:
The GRASS in the open planes and savannas. THAT is what I NEED it for!
So, this December, I'm FINALLY wrapping up an ENTIRE year FILLED w stupid setbacks N delays, as well as STUPID petty dramas of numerous folks, BUT I'M STILL GOING!
I look back upon a body of work of SO MANY GOALS completed, and IN THE MIDDLE OF COMPLETION at this very moment! Others about to start or re-do. I got a 3rd Place Trophy at NewGrounds.com on Thanksgiving Day. :)
[I also did the audio on this which u can download for free]
I've actually been doing various versions of The Jackalope film because my ORIGINAL CONCEPT was actually all 4 seasons. So, each part I made a mini-film out of as well.
[I also did the audio on this which u can download for free]
[Incidentally, I know a lot of the kids out there need music n audio that's free & legal, so I have a number of music N audio clips in my New Grounds that is FREE, and YES I licensed them to Creative Commons. NO, you DON'T need my permission, JUST TAKE IT, and do whatever u want with it. YES, it IS polite to credit me, but NO I'm NOT coming to hunt anyone down if they don't. I have a LOT of sympathy for kids & students learning animation or various other projects they need stuff for, or even practice.]
This is THE MOST WORK I HAVE EVER DONE on ANY animated film SO FAR, EVER!
I wanted to combine the 4 pieces (plus some other stuff, and OTHER variations) but like a a fusion of old vintage 80s-90s NES + SNES video games, N Arcade Games, as well as OLD vintage 90s CD-ROMS.
For this one I referenced CAPCOM's Street Fighter II.
This one is referenced from Nintendo's Double Dragon.
And, back in Spring 2017 I'd always wanted to incorporate this Sakura Waterfalls piece into my Film Final at UMASS Boston, but didn't know how at the time. So, I redid it for ASMR Visuals on NewGround.com. There's several versions on YouTube, but my NewGrounds videos are WAY more popular.
I did some other graphics to resemble old 90s CD-ROMS.
Especially THIS ONE:
Or, graphics loosely referenced from old Japanese Sailor Moon Video Games as well.
But, if you look at my "Movies" gallery on NewGrounds it's literally my Animation & Motion Graphics Goals for This year, but also some dating back until 2017. There's ONLY a few concepts left to do, finish up, or re-do.
I will be re-doing my 2016 film "Smattering Thoughts Also Flow" including the new Butterflies I did this year for Inktober.
I'll be moving onto the Butterfly puppet animation as soon as the Jackalope stuff is totally wrapped up. BOTH of these, including the other Jackalope films will be in my TV Show "A Spirit To Be Free".
The original concept for the original film I did incorporated my lanterns, including the one I made, and the Work-In-Progress Film I did for Cinema Studies/Experimental Film Class at UMASS Boston Fall Semester 2017 is HERE:
The full documentary is here:
I wanted to animate the butterflies with my lanterns B-roll footage and I've shot SO much since then. But, I'd also wanted to do the butterflies with some 3D After Effects compositions. I actually JUST did a Waterfall animation video this week, but I haven't uploaded it yet because its slow. (My internet STINX.) I've also been busy animating, making graphics, n editing audio + video.
But, I'd also re-shot the Chinese calligraphy story/art presentation multiple times.
My video instructor made me re-shoot it so many times, and including REAL ink instead of the water scroll. But, I needed guidance and never got it fully, because he often ditched us, or me especially when I needed him. he often would tell me he would be right back, then actually went home. I also wasted SO MUCH time N energy on commuting and re-borrowing equipment.
I actually have not only my own equipment now at home, BUT I also have WAY BETTER stuff now than the stuff at UMASS Boston because I ACTUALLY NOW have my very own mini-camera crane! I will probably ALSO be turning my living room into my filming studio next month because I'm THE ONLY PERSON LIVING IN IT. Everyone else spends time in their bedrooms doing their work or leisure.
I'd also been working on a few rough concept art pieces at the end of August N Early September for part of my Ying Qilin Film which is eventually my BIG ultimate goal. But baby steps, 1 by 1.
At the moment THIS one is on hold because the other stuff I'm working on is THAT TIME now because it's not hot summer weather. And I can use my computer more frequently, and all day. So, it's on the back burner right now.
I also have ONE more Motion Graphics/Moving Picture Composition I haven't finished painting yet.
I need to update THIS picture to HD, but the amount of painting work I need to do for the HD version is OVERWHELMING.
The trouble is that hackers destroyed the finished version, so I need to repaint it from scratch BEFORE I can even do the HD video animation motion graphics.
I found the old B N W version, and I'd started painting it back in the winter BEFORE I went down to Florida in March. But, I never finished it. too many OTHER things came up N I totally forgot about it.
It will be similar to THESE other ones I made back in December 2017-Feb-2018 which were originally JUST still images:
[Side Note: If you like this style of a semi-still picture that moves I HIGHLY recommend my friend Lizkay's animated work found HERE.]
But, moving into 2019, once I'm finished with the puppet animations, I'M MOVING ONTO TRADITIONAL ANIMATION FOREVER. NO MORE PUPPETS! ^_^
I will still be integrating puppet animations as motion graphics elements inside my traditional animations as well as Effects animation like particles.
PLUS, I got TRAPCODE SUITE 15 NOW! ^,^
So, what's NEXT?
Well, if you didn't know this, I actually hang out FREQUENTLY on AMB Animation's LIVE STREAMS on YouTube. And YES, I AM aware that some people strongly dislike him.... but, the thing is.... he's generally RIGHT. But, he's also opinionated and outspoken. But, a number of my friends hang out with him in his streams, and I gotta tell ya, he's actually a pretty nice guy, its just that he talks BIG in his streams as his marketing style.
If I had the money I WOULD totally invest in his Library option. I also like Aaron Blaise's streams n stuff as well.
But, AMB has some free stuff on his website, and I personally want to get back into animation basics N fundamentals.
However, I do have ONE OTHER concept piece that's also STILL on my mind, since Spring 2017 at UMASS Boston, and THAT one is Traditional Animation based.
I had actually created a number of concept sketches for it a while back, but basically, I'd wanted to my OWN Artistic re-interpretation of the ending graphics for an OLD 80s French Anime TV show called "Mysterious Cities of Gold. This ONE:
In fact, I'd already done a few ROUGH animation bits back in Summer 2017 of that very concept, which I'd also recently re-cut for a Video Art Proposal back in September in Boston for Boston CyberArts. (-and, NO, I didn't get it.)
In fact, I have a few more proposals to submit to them in the next few days.
But, this concept has been morphing N progressing quite a lot in my head this year.
I want to probably COMBINE this concept with my own artistic re-interpretation of an old James Bond film into:
OMG! I just LOVE THAT! But, also, KEEP IN MIND, I JUST GOT TRAPCODE! ;-) Tee-hee!
But..... here's the thing.... the whole GUN motif... yeah... that..... so, I'm not anti-guns, per se, but.... guns just ARE NOT MY THING.... they just aren't..... like u won't see 'em in my art... maybe some swords N archery.... but that's it...
But, I LOVE those pretty nude lady artsy silhouettes.
So, I was thinking up different graphical concepts that were NOT GUN RELATED..... IDK, all the gun motifs just make me feel UNCOMFORTABLE....
But, I like LANTERNS.
So, I figured I'd remake mine with lanterns, candles, torches, and useful objects, or tools, that have more fulfilling meanings to me personally.I dunno, I've been a multi-times victim of sexual assault, rape, n violence multiple times that GUNS in my art bother me being paired with nude ladies, so try and understand that.
I'm NOT a New Age-y person anymore but I STILL love all the imagery, like "Love and Light" or "Enlightenment", and other symbolic motifs. Please remember that I am a Philosopher as well as an Artist. I'm generally NOT bothered by people legally owning a gun, or enjoying regulated target practice at a gun range. (and YES I HAVE fired firearms since I was at least 6 because my uncle wanted me to, at my Mom's old car, which ticked off my grandfather because he owned the car even tho' it was just sitting there for a few years... and yes, he was in all kinds of armed service jobs including military n police, among others; and as a teen I was a pretty good shot w a bee-bee gun and a 22 rifle, but it seemed like a waste because we shot small eggs on beer bottles.) Personally, I HAVE hunted game using a Compound Bow, so I DON'T view guns as sportsman-like for hunting at all, and they ruin the meat. But, I also get if you want to have a small gun if you're being stalked. I am a philosopher, so I'm more in line with the thinking of Bruce Lee's "The Art of Fighting Without Fighting" (or Alan Watts) and various other Shaolin & Taoist philosophies as well. But, for whatever reason people r so brainwashed into this stuff that I NOW need to list a whole bunch of family members that were policemen, military vets, and ALL the DUDES I ever banged or seriously dated or flirted with enlisted in the service, etc... please, don't. I'm a philosopher, I'm NOT pushing an agenda, so leave it at that.
I DID actually work on Tipsy TV this winter. So here's MY WORK including Camera work, MOtion Graphics n VFX + Editing:
Yes, I AM still very excited to be producing 2 of my very own TV Shows in my town, but I'm also going to be working on a show of my friend's as well which is a revised/redone version of "On The Scene" which he did a few years ago. I'll be shooting that this week, and also a few more times this month.
AND, I'm STILL the DP (Director of Photography) on the film "The Holy Maple Tree" which is NEVER ENDING for a short film.
Not only did I get promoted to Graphics and the Chief Editor, but I ended up becoming DP.
I had the DAUNTING TASK of trying to salvage and force a lot of stuff to fit together in what's called "the hike scenes" among crew. SO, I worked SO HARD to come up with this edit, which actually went well, and was received VERY WELL by cast N crew.
(Mostly shot on a camcorder, n various other cameras)
Unfortunately, this actor took his career goals very seriously to become an EMT, and altho' he was perfect to work with, and was our back-up for the 1st actor in this lead role, we found another actor in Rhode Island that was just the perfect match, and it was sad because we all still liked this guy as a person and liked working w/him.
Anyways, the previous footage of these scenes were not finished, and were fraught w/problems due to camera persons, the former DP, and cast N crew drama. Plus I have arthritis in my spine n this location is A KILLER.
Needless to say, I did manage to go shooting there this year a number of times, and WAY TOO MANY OF THEM. PLUS, I had personally invested in my own equipment, and upgraded the film by pushing for higher quality.
Suffice it to say, we've achieved it (CANON 70D EOS DSLR):
Kit lens w star cross filter/ This Actor is SO AMAZINGLY GOOD!
Kit lens w star cross filter
This lens is a $1000 lens: CANON 135mm F2 which we rented to achieve ultimate bokeh. NOT A ZOOM lens.
Kit lens
Shot on a camera crane w a kit lens
Shot on 50mm prime lens on low level light on the lowest F-stop. This actress is also VERY good on camera, and is also an Indie Film Director & Recording Artist/Producer, and all around creative type
[Also, nearly ALL of the costuming of Moonbeam, the Hippy character, including makeup supplies N jewelry, was done by me.]
As you can see my camera work has improved a lot, and I'd surpassed a number of things done by several of the Indie filmmakers I'd been working with since 2016. I was so dedicated to learning more about lenses, exposure, white balance, Prime lens, Kit lens, and Zoom as well as really cultivating a respect for things like Long Takes, L-Cuts N J-Cuts and even getting my own Video tripod as well as a Camera crane despite EVERYONE being hell-bent on drones, which makes NO SENSE because drones are for aerial shots.
The delays on this film made me SO GRUMPY. SO, once the summer ended I switched gears back to animation N drawing again. The heat waves made it impossible to use the graphics software(s).
I'd completed my film with my daughter also "Maple Bacon" in our brand "Titanic Panoramic" which also has a YouTube Channel:
I just tend to be more popular on NewGrounds this year, whereas my YouTube channel got screwed N demonetized n no one even seed my updates because they suppressed my content. However, she just granted a monetization last month, and is booming in views.
I now have a portfolio profile on ArtStation which I will probably be updating this month, but I'm rather busy at the moment.
I'm HOPING to get this FINAL Jackalope film DONE BEFORE Christmas.
OTHER STUFF I have IN THE WORKS Coming up:
I JUST GOT a new Green Screen Chroma-Key Lighting Kit! SO EXCITED!
It arrived days ago, but I didn't open it yet because of my husband, Mr. Wang. I don't want to open it around him because he's a SPAZZ and he's got finals at MASS ARTS Boston because he's at Graduate School studying for his Master's Degree in Art.
I also ordered a plain Chinese Folding Screen... so u can't see my ugly living room, but ALSO so I could paint something on it!
I'm also going to be making a NEW PIRATE HAT/Bonnet.
That will take a while to arrive here.But, I did get some bits for it already. I will retire my old Pirate hat back to a Witch Hat, which is what it ACTUALLY is.
I also FINALLY got my VERY OWN fake leaves. This was SUCH a pain in the butt to get, but I FINALLY got some. I need them for a prop on the film which I've worked on while on stream, but for the film "The Holy Maple Tree".
I actually haven't finished it. I have a persistent pesky problem with hackers, and they targeted me SO HARD in September N October, and wore me out.
I was actually doing very well at my motivation to stream LIVE , but they kept hacking me.
So, I gave up and moved onto animation for a while. I was very upset that I couldn't continue w/Inktober N Drawtober, but they even hacked my modem, video card, iPhone, and my Abode Creative Cloud.
It was frustrating. They also hacked my streams, and deleted my streams in Salem Mass on Halloween.
So, I hope to finish that also. It's on the back burner at the moment tho'.
I also got a Prism for trendy photography N video effects. I'm sure u've seen the stuff on Instagram all over the place. (BTW I'm NO LONGER ON INSTAGRAM)
IN the past few years, I had a very strong stint towards autumn/fall themes. This is probably due to us having very warm autumns and super cold springs, plus I was usually bedridden for weeks in the spring in the past 7 years. But, since it was Spring Semester, which ironically starts in the dead of winter, I decided to go with a Spring theme for the majority of my artwork this semester at UMASS Boston. That means SAKURA.
HONESTLY, full disclosure I HATE THE COLOR PINK! HATE IT! But, I don't hate pink flowers, or pink makeup. Weird, I know.... I was also fed-up with snow, and lilacs just didn't have the same vibes as sakura (cherry blossoms). Shocker! I know! Purple is my favorite color! But, whatevz... I went with pinks.
1 thing that I really don't like about studying Art at UMASS is the sheer lack of hands on training, lack of walk-through, and the emphasis more on dictatorial theory. My Digital Media class at least did have actual hands on, supervision, and walk-though demos most of he time. But, I went to AIPH and UARTS Phila. and well as BCIT Medford, which had ALL hands on, hours of time spent on working, learning, specialization, demo, and more. So, needless to say, I was often the person people came to for help. Or, I was sitting there with people trying to figure it out WITH THEM. If I DIDN'T know how, I was 100% honest and OWNED UP TO IT, but will still try anyway rather than worry about admitting I didn't know, and loosing face.
There were many things I wanted to do, wanted to learn, progress in, and I WISHED there was more time. One thing EVERY STUDENT universally agrees on is that we all wish we had MORE TIME to work on the Finals. Meaning final projects.
Honestly, I HATE rushing. I do NOT work well under pressure. I'm better when I can take my time, utilize ALL of my time, and do quality work.
So, much of my work was multi-tasked simultaneously so as to try and eek out every nano second. It was maddening, and stressful at times. During times I was NOT creating I was seething with aggravated resentment. Commuting, and work study jobs took time out of my productivity, and I have a problem with perfectionism to the point where I often get psychically sick over it. I also hate being late.
Since Adobe only gave me a small window of time to use their trail versions, and I had several computer crashes, malware viruses, and a Russian hacker robbed my DeviantART via PayPal, I was way past my limit. I'd promised myself I'd NEVER put myself though abuse like this, and somehow it ended up just as bad, or worse all over again.
I was super happy to get back into animation, where as I was scared of it. But, suddenly I was head-first back in. I found it was THE ONLY thing I wanted to do, all day, every day.
The first project I was thrust into was for Art On The Marquee. There was NO CHOICE. It was mandatory. This ONE project, which altho' I loved doing, was the source and cause of SO MUCH STRESS for me.
I was stood up, berated, and given all sorts of conflicting demands. I'm a very lenient person, and if I like you, I'll put up with your faults, and so on, but there's just a LINE that you don't cross, and I get snarky. Well, I respected my teacher very much, and liked him a lot. But, he kept crossing that line, was incredibly hard on me, and in February once I was actually chosen to produce my animation, he BRAZENLY CROSSED THOSE LINES. Since last year, he'd acted as tho' this project was important and meaningful to him, and since January he just sprung it on us the first day. Mandatory. So, I understood (or so I thought) that this project mattered to him, and that it was important to him. But, he made a big deal about all 3 of us showing up EARLY on Thursday mornings to work on it together. He also told me to "take the initiative" because communication was (and STILL IS) an issue. I asked him many times: What do you mean "early?" What time? he just told me he didn't know and "just early". So, because, I dunno, I have this weird thing called integrity, I got up way early, rushed to the university and stayed in the lab. I checked his office every 10-20 min, 1 person actually showed up. Hours passed. Then after 2:30PM he shows up, bursts into the lab stinking like food (we hadn't even eaten) pushes me aside, and tries to to this weird demo with the other girl in After Effects that makes no sense. he keeps messing it up, so trying to give some helpful input, he takes it the wrong way, and tells me to shut up. But, because I respect this guy, I keep my mouth shut and sit there.... I ask him where he was, and he lies to us both saying he was here all morning. I said no: I was here since 9:30, and she was here since 10. Then, he says, he was in his office. No he wasn't, we visited his office every 10 min, all morning and he was not there, AND he wasn't there at NOON, 12:15, 12:30, 12:45 or 1PM either. AND, we'd even wait there. It turns out he was doing a film demo to the movie club, whom didn't even care about it. He didn't answer emails, wasn't around during his office hours, and when he was there, he was running all over the place from room to room chatting with people but never in the lab, and if he was he'd ramble like a mad mad, and no one understood what he was talking about. When I'd approach him, he'd leave the room and say "I'll be right back" but actually went home. During February Break & Spring Break I had to go to the Convention Center, but he wouldn't even go. To my face he lied to me and said he would be out of town, and also reiterated this in writing in an email. He wasn't out of town, he was at home the whole time. He was publishing his activities to Instagram which we follow. I was beginning to feel used, resentful, and that this actually didn't mean anything to him. I kept feeling conflicted, and was often in denial. What? It's just this 1 time. Or, he didn't mean it. Or, he's not that petty, he'd never intentionally do this sort of thing, he's better than that. Once it's a solid pattern, repeatedly, over & over, you can't make excuses for it anymore, and the stress starts building.... So, what was I doing all of this work for? I was doing it FOR HIM. He also didn't even credit me the extra 5 points to my final grade, and gave me an A-. He also kept taking on all these other jobs and projects, and went to places on the campus not related to the classes, and wanted us to do WORK FOR THEM like video games and so on. This is abuse. Mind you, this was someone I'd really looked up to, and admired. I'd stuck my neck out for this person. I'd believed in this person. I stuck up for this person, and saved his face many times, that he didn't even know about because he kept acting strange. He was never available, and I had to get help from the person in charge of the project whom was way busier than he was. Also, that guy actually came to the campus and helped me finish it up on the final weeks, and never got to make it to the school before that due to blizzards. The day before the video final versions were due, all of a sudden he was in the labs. So, NOW you want to do your job? NOW you want to give me input? NOW you want to have a say? Where were you every week for months when I needed you? You don't get a say anymore. When the actual reception evening was held, he wanted me to save a seat for him, so I did. He put his stuff down, the scurried off. But, after that all he did was avoid me, he went to a table without chairs and insisted his back hurt, and that he wanted to view the Marquee, only to later sit down elsewhere WITH HIS BACK TO THE MARQUEE. He didn't want to be involved with pretty much any of it, including doing his duty as a teacher to me, it didn't matter to him at all, but he still wanted ALL of the credit. He, and the university had me running around all over the place doing all kinds of things ALSO cutting out my productivity. I can't tell you how many times people didn't show up, or half-assed things.
So, most of my work ended up just being experimental in nature, or exploratory.
Here's 3 of the Sakura Graphics I made:
I made them licensed to the Creative Commons for you guys. There's a reason for this. As a person going through the student/educational system yet again, but in this modern contemporary world OI found it difficult to get images that were what I actually wanted, so I made my own, and I figured I'd apss it on to other students, and artists struggling with learning programs ALL ON THEIR OWN.
You can download and use them FOR FREE so long as it's non-commercial, and NOT FOR PROFIT.
Here's the animation experiments I acme up with in a limited time:
As simple as these animations are this was hours & hours and days of work, often all day, all night. I often had to redo everything all over multiple times, and even lost my temper. But, I've definitely learned so much from all of that.
Unfortunately, there wasn't time to do EVERYTHING I'd actually wanted to do. Hence why everything ended up being mostly experimental.
Final Animations:
If I'm being 100% honest and FRANKLY SPEAKING/WRITING I didn't actually want to do Stop Motion Animation, NOR 3D Printing much like last year how I also LOST my liking for Video Mapping after things not going right, altho' that's somewhat different. The ONLY reason why I used stop motion animation AND 3D printing was because he insisted on it. I was NOT even intending to have it in my final, but even tho' He'd told me I had free reign to do whatever I actually wanted, he changed his mind, because he has a bias in favor of those arts. Therefore, if I did NOT do those things it would've gone badly. It wasn't worth arguing with him over it, and he always would gaslight and change his story about everything.
I am NOT a 3D artist, I am NOT really a stop motion animation enthusiast.
Keeping it 100% REAL.
It's NOT that I can't do those things, or DON'T do those things... but, for me Stop Motion is too simple and easy. It's NOT the kind of challenging thing I'm interested in, and for me it's NOTHING for me to do. Actually, ANYONE CAN DO THAT even without trying very hard. It has NOTHING to do with me being an elitist, or a snob. I'm just not jazzed about doing Stopmotion Animation. I'm also NOT a MOTION GRAPHICS style of animator, which in my field of study isn't even considered an "animator". Why? Because I'm a traditional animator, and traditional animation is a different kind of field rather than just moving texts and gradient graphics over a video.
Traditional Animators are a different kind of breed, mindset, mentality, discipline, and so on. We draw. We like funny things. We have multiple skills that we integrate together. I specialized to be a traditional animator that was more on the Disney standard end, and NOT the Hanna-Barbera end. I realize that if you didn't study for this sort of field this analogy is totally lost on you. But, no matter how much I bend over backwards, and reiterate that I'm not a snob on this issue people will just see it whatever way they see it.
And, look. I get it. My skill level at present isn't what I would PREFER IT WAS. Let's face it, it just isn't. But, that's my point. I want to build it back up, and strive for the things that matter to me AS AN ARTIST.
I actually reshot my stop motion animation multiple times due to color keying issues in Adobe After Effects of Premiere, like Green Screen, which he insisted I do.
Remind me again. Why am I doing this? For him? Or for me? Well, if its about the grade, it's him... but, trying to please people by NOT being who I am is just NOT the way to go, especially when it's a cycle of contradiction, accountability, unprofessionalism, and abuse. Even at this moment I just DON'T understand how all of this devolved so badly. Like milk turning into curdled mush. I can't allow someone to bully me, and lie to me. I am so profoundly disappointed with him. I can't work with someone like that. :(
I need things that are the right kind of challenge, and environment for me as a person, as an artist. I'm really grateful to actually be back doing animation, I just wish it didn't spoil and go rotten.
I'm not slandering. I'm just stating my experience.
