Showing posts with label Poem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poem. Show all posts

Thursday, May 19, 2022

My Film Succor Forlorn is BLOWING UP at Film Festivals GLOBALLY

 

Back in 2019, like definitely a year of mayhem, filmmaking, animation, Pokemon Go CRAZINESS. I had produced a number of TV shows that aired on local TV. Here's BLOG POST. Definately a nutty year. My Live Streaming was hacked, my iPhone was hacked, my Computer was hacked AND VERY BADLY.

But, I manged to complete my Film "Succor Forlorn"which I blogged about my process on in my "Lively OC Blog" a number of times in 2019. Not long after completing THAT FILM which was fraught with delays, hackings, setbacks, cyber bullying, and ALL the "new friends" I PRESUMED I had on a certain streaming platform, as well as my IRL Friends whom PROMISED to show up (WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF ADVANCE NOTICE) to watch my world premiere stream LIVE BROADCAST of the film ALL BAILED ON ME. I EVEN REMINDED THEM. So, basically, I have a Live Stream of basically NO ONE.

I worked SO HARD on this film, and I ALMOST TOTALLY LOST IT FOREVER due to vicious hackers. They DESTROYED all of my hard drives. The drives were so slowed down, that any data recovery was mostly impossible. So on November 1st, 2019 it was TOTALLY RUINED. I was TRYING DESPERATELY to outrun the hackings, whom would also DDOS my Livestreams, and my MODEM. So, not long after that, a Pandemic ensued... so I was effectively WITHOUT a COMPUTER, and MY DATA (most of which was lost), UNTIL AUGUST of 2020! Frickin CRAZY!

I recalled all the great interest, when I 1st posted my Concept Art on Twitter for the film, and getting a HUGE response, but since the setbacks kept occurring, I guess it just died down the enthusiasm. 

I remembered working on the film and DREAMING, while FULLY INTENDING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN as any Filmmaker like myself ought, that I would put the film in a few Film festivals.

Back in 2019, my thought/idea/dream was to put the film into a few small festivals, like SciFi, Cult, Indie, Experimental, and Artsy Festivals. I'd been to a few Film Festivals in my life, so I knew what it was like in general, as well as Animation Festivals. Honestly, I just thought I'd do like 2-3 little niche festivals with the "weirdo" type stuff. I figured my films was just "odd" & unique enough for those, and had ZERO ambition for anything else. I figured, I could stick it into my Resume, just like everything else. Also, the film was intended as a sort of Demo Reel as well. To showcase ALL of my skills & talents. Produced ENTIRELY BY ME. Something I could be proud of.

In 2020-2021, I'd also submitted my photography to a few international competitions, which I was also invited to FERVENTLY, and I had to PAY for admission, BUT NOTHING EVER CAME OF IT. I honestly DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER WHICH ONES I DID, nor HOW MANY. After a while, I just didn't want to spend the money on those. I literally would get these invites, and they would build up the pressure form individuals on a specific platform, but I never won the To Prize, but my Followers would grow sometimes by the min. 


So, my attitude towards Film festivals was sort of like that. Like something to do. Something to try, like a ba-jillion other things I've tried. Since my friends didn't seem all that impressed or interested in my film, I also didn't think much of it as time passed, and I worked on other projects.

But, in 2020 I desperately wanted to put my film in Festivals, then COVID happened, so at 1st I had no money, then when I did, they were all postponed, canceled, or they changed the rules. What do I mean? Well, somewhere in there, they changed the rules & restrictions to ONLY FILMS COMPLETED DURRING the PANDEMIC LOCKDOWN of 2020-2021! WTF???


I worked SO HARD on THAT FILM. But, NO! NOT GOOD ENOUGH! That's UNHEARD OF! Usually, most Film Festivals accept films completed 1-3 years before the date of the Film Festival. But, they just erased 2019 as tho it NEVER HAPPENED! 

So, 2020 turned into 2021, and each time I found a Film Festival that MIGHT accept my film, I read the rules, and they were like: ONLY FILMS completed in 2020-2021! WTF???


So, when 2022 hit, I just presumed: Oh well! I guess its OVER! Like, I GOT SICK working on that film. 

I had to delay working on it FOR OTHER PERSONS' PROJECTS because THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO VFX Composites, or how to use Low Level lighting, or A PRIME LENS, or whisked a way on film shooting locations WHILE I'M IN SEVERE BACK PAIN, N DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE in ANOTHER STATE, while people are playing ego trip head games on me. I also GOT PAID NOTHING TO HELP THEM. NONE OF THEM. And I had a TV station play "musical chairs" with our time slots, and have the gall to get ANGRY AT US, while gaslighting us BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE TIME SLOTS, NOT US. It was like LIFE had just SCREWED me that year. No matter HOW NICE I was. NONE OF THAT MATTERED. I even GOT BANNED 3 times (2019) in Pokemon Go by HATERS, plus while playing PVP on the highway! I also had a CREEPY frickin stalker problem when I went outside. (ANOTHER LONG STORY.) Bad enough there's a deadly frickin plague on the loose! 

But, in March this year (2022) I saw this email in my inbox, and it was suggesting I check out a certain Film Festival (I'd already peeked at maybe 5-6 in the winter already) which was a SciFi Festival. It caught my eye. And, it bugged me. I'll bet they have a STOOPID rule about NO films before 2020, or 2021, or something like that... right? Or some ridiculous COVID restriction EVEN THO its all done online. 

Right???

Nope!

So, I read through the rules, the categories.... and NO STUPID rules like that at all!

Then, I decided to just do it! 



They just required the Film, A Trailer, A Movie Poster, A Director's Bio, Synopsis, some stills from the film, some links, and A Headshot of the Director (me). That's it??? 

OK! So, I started that! Spent the WHOLE NIGHT setting that up, went to bed long after 4AM, then when I woke up, I cut my Trailer in Adobe Premiere, Rendered it out, Did my Movie Poster, and submitted everything.

Then I thought about a few other ones. But which ones?

I searched through the Film Festivals, found 2 more I liked, and I Tweeted it out that I was submitting my films to some Festivals this year.

I figured THAT WOULD BE IT, I had ZERO ambitions of winning ANYTHING. Just hoping my Film would be CHOSEN and approved. That was it.

But, then I GOT SCOUTED!

Some Film Connoisseurs started chatting with me, asking me about my film. Next thing I knew, they were inviting me to submit my film to specific festivals, and advising me what to do. Next thing I knew, THE BUZZ WAS ON! And I kept getting more & more invitations! 

They were SO NICE!

Then, at the end of April I started WINNING EACH FESTIVAL that had started their events! 

Then, I had to do marketing, PR, and I got on THE HOT LIST at least 3 times already!

My Film WON at the Hollywood Blvd Film Festival! WHAT???

 



Next thing I knew, even tho I'd ONLY intended to do the small niche weirdo festivals, THE BIGGER ONES WERE NOTICING ME!

I GOT a PERSONAL INVITATION to CANNES AWARDS FESTIVAL! I almost HAD A HEART ATTACK! I was hyper Ventilating, and almost blacked out! I NEVER thought I was ever even GOOD ENOUGH for CANNES!



 Anyways, my film will also be screened in Art Hub cities in Italy like Florence, Milan, Malta, Rome, also Paris, London, Vienna, Casablanca, NYC, and lots more. I'm booked up in more than 60+ Festivals now until 2023. I've signed 2 Contract deals.

My Film will be streaming soon on the Paus app from England INTERNATIONALLY!


I had to do my IMDb Profile stuff, for myself AND my Film which requires data entry style programming, and its tedious AF! There's a flashback from the 90s! Remember back in the day when IMDb was just a movie buff site for nerds? I DO.

My INBOX is NUTS! Just NUTS! HOW does ANYONE handle this much attention???

CRAZY!

I need to probably get an Agent, Manager, Talent Attorney, and I might have to join a Guild, like The Writers' Guild. I'm trying to figure out WHAT TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS MOVING FORWARD.




So, I GUESS this is kind of my life right now! EVERY DAY something new happens! My email INBOX is just NUTS! 


I can't get ANYTHING DONE lately! And, I started up my Twitch streaming again.

So, I STILL have dreams to fulfill, or at least make a TRY for it!


It's STILL so strange to me! Like, in my head, it's like IMPOSTER SYNDROME. I've been SO SHIT ON, TRASHED, ABUSED, SCREWED OVER, MISTREATED, and undermined for my ENTIRE ADULT LIFE, that I'm just thinking: Am I actually GOOD? Like, is it ACTUALLY GOOD???

Are people just being NICE or KINDLY TO ME??? Are the just HUMORING ME?


Then I look at my INBOX, and I'm STILL SHOCKED! Like: WOW!

SO MANY PEOPLE LOVE MY FILM! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???


Like, I WON BEST SHORT EXPERIMENTAL Film at Hollywood Blvd


And, THEY INVITED ME AT THE CANNES AWARDS FILM FESTIVAL! CANNES!!! FRICKIN CANNES!!!! OMFG!!!

Monday, March 21, 2016

Poem: Free Flying Heart

(Some vintage Storyboard thumbnails)

Free Flying Heart (working title)
By Kandice Kathleen Zimbleman (Black UniGryphon)
©2016 All Rights Reserved 
Rough Draft Lyrics/Poetry 
(Also on DeviantArt)


I dreamed I was the wind,
And a Part of the sky,
And then when I awoke,
Remembered I once could fly.

What do I do?
What have I done?
Foolish and selfish mistakes!
Careless and empty! -thinking it's fun!

I am the obstacle of myself,
Find a way to overcome me!
Somehow I can reach it,
My heart wants to finally fly free!

I miss you,
All free in the sky.
I miss me,
That part of me longs to reach up high!

I've been stuck being down,
Solve this puzzle somehow!
And untangle my wings to fly back up!



****

Feet un-grounding, and leaving the floor,
Good-bye to the underworld!
Wind one with me, I'll start to let go!
Now I feel my wings unfurl!

Let me stay forever among you!
Forever the clouds and sky!
Keep me always with you!
Never let us say good-bye!



Good-bye...... (echoes)
               ........good-bye..... (echoes)
                                      ..........good-bye....... (echoes)

                                                 Bye-bye-bye-bye.............. (echoes)

When will I be ready?
When will I be done?
When will it be finished?
               All I can do for now is observe you all.
               Fly away,
               Into the setting sun..........